THE OOPS LIFE Britney(Photo: Getty Images)
• From the makers of Britney's VMA performance: MTV chooses former coke-addicted Miss USA Tara Conner to star as mentor and host in a new reality show called Pageant Place, which will follow the lives of beauty queens as they share an apartment in a Manhattan high-rise.
• Slaughtering the competition: Also-ran Republican candidate Mike Huckabee says other candidates probably want to go ahead and kill themselves since their actual support isn't reflected in their fundraising.
• Sobriety not a good look: Clean, bloated, schlubby pin-cushion Pete Doherty looks like he ate spry, high, tailored suit-sporting Pete. Congrats!