Bling King, Now on Ice, Calls in Favors

GRILL THE WITNESS Jacob fan • Hi, Jay-Z? Becks? It's me!: Remember your ol' pal Jacob the Jeweler who made you all of that stunning two-tone gold and ice-blasted bling? He'd like you to testify in court on his behalf. No, not you, Black Mafia Family. As you were.

• American Idiots: The usual ragtag bunch of no-talent half-wits made their way to the American Idol stage last night for the first episode of season six. This year's William Hung: Mr. Urban Amish.

• He would've fried 'em: The demonstrably sensitive Pres. Bush does not approve of the way the Iraqi government handled Saddam's execution. As a man who holds the record for execution touchdowns, Bush said he was disappointed that Iraq "fumbled" theirs.

• 34,000 and rising: Meanwhile, the number of Iraqi civilians who died last year amounts to about four people an hour. But remember, the outcome is worth the sacrifice.

• You are everyone else: A potential juror in the Scooter Libby case was quickly dismissed after saying, "there is nothing they Bush Administration officials could say or do that would make me think anything positive about them."