When Björk Attacks

INHUMANE BEHAVIOR Björk

• Camera shy: Kooky songstress Björk attacks a hapless photographer in a New Zealand airport, recalling a similar bout of crazy she unleashed on a reporter in Bangkok 12 years ago.

• I didn't know I couldn't do that: O.J. Simpson checks back into the Las Vegas county jail after violating the terms of his bail by contacting a codefendant in his armed robbery case.

• Picture imperfect: Desperate former idol Katharine McPhee attempts to sell her wedding pics to the the tabloids for $60,000—and finds no takers.

• Fool's gold: The Golden Globe winners are announced in a riveting, 31-minute, star-free news conference. Soft-focus Keira Knightley commercial Atonement wins best drama. No one cares.

• No competition: Double-amputee runner Oscar Pistorius is banned from participating in the Beijing Olympics after reports find his prosthetics give him an unfair advantage.

• X-spawn: Christina Aguilera gives birth to a healthy baby boy, Max Liron Bratman. Pray X-tina's genes override frumpy hubby Jordan Bratman's.

• Itchy engagement: Princess Diana's former butler (and media [expletive]) Paul Burrell testifies at the inquest into her death, says the princess did not plan to marry Dodi Fayed. The princess supposedly told her butler confidante, "I need marriage like a bad rash."