ANY WHICH WAY BUT IRRELEVANT Wentz,
Simpson monkey • Mo monkey, mo problems: That bridge troll Pete Wentz and his knocked-up other Simpson extend their fame with a story about a sticky-fingered Costa Rican monkey. It's like Every Which Way But Loose but dumber. And shorter.
• Charlie Wilson's legal war: Arthur Kent, the Canadian reporter known as the "Scud Stud" during the Gulf War is suing the makers of Tom Hanks/Julia Roberts flick Charlie Wilson's War, claiming they used without permission parts of his 1986 news program on the Soviet-Afghanistan war.
• Exodus: Genesis fireplug Phil Collins is retiring from music to pursue his memorabilia collection from the Battle Of The Alamo. Not a damn thing to add.
• Fin.: A shark attacked and killed a 55- to 60-year old man in Solana Beach, California, today. "The shark is still in the area. We're sure of that," Mayor Joe Kellejian said. Wither Roy Scheider?
• Keep an iron grip on the capacity for silliness: British jazz/broadcasting legend Humphrey Lyttelton has passed away.
• Killer queen: An excitable couch potato kills a friend for talking over Tyra Banks through an episode of Top Model. That's fierce.