DEATH PEDDLER! Batali, in Crocs
• Mario brutally: Reports are surfacing about the hazards of Crocs, the shoes of choice for overweight Italian chefs and the children of gentrified neighborhood-dwelling parents. Like some horrible urban legend, it seems they get stuck in escalators. One report of a young man getting sucked under by his Crocs: "His mother managed to yank him free, but the nail on his big toe was almost completely ripped off, causing heavy bleeding."
• 50 Cent changes plans: Fiddy cancels his European promotional tour. First step in a promised retirement on the heels of being outsold by Kanye West?
• Headline of the day: "Pete Doherty moves in with Shane McGowan."
• Manilow blow: Key demographic representative Barry Manilow announces a boycott of The View because of Elisabeth Hasselbeck's conservative views. Beth, good luck getting past the velvet ropes at the Copacabana!
• Candidate blackout: Either Tavis Smiley has consistently picked bad times for his PBS presidential debates at a historically black college or "scheduling issues" is the new code for prejudice. Fred Thompson, Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, and John McCain have all cited scheduling conflicts when turning down Smiley's debates.