Babies in Crisis: A Very Special Week in Celeb Glossies

BABIES HAVING BABIES Celebrity Bunwatch '08 This week, the glossy celeb mags are all about the trauma facing in-utero Hollywood spawn.

In Touch has a cover about teen-pregnancy poster child Jamie Lynn Spears "Secret Double Life!" By day, she's a mild-mannered Zoey 101 star, but by night she dons a cape and cowl and keeps the streets of Gotham safe—oops, we mean by night she sends sexy pictures of herself to boys other than claimed baby dady Casey Aldridge and is romancing a friend of rapper Lil' Romeo. After the 16-year-old pregnancy, though, what's the big whoop about a few naughty pics?

Meanwhile, topless millionaire playboy Matthew McConaughey's on-the-waby with gal pal Camila Alves is in danger of being a bastard (this is the correct usage of the term, though we may have used it incorrectly once or twice in reference to various erstwhile lovers). Matt's mamma, his gal's mamma, and Camila herself are hoping that he'll make an honest woman of her before she drops, but according to his friend, "He likes feeling in control. He's afraid that if he has a piece of paper that says he has to stay he'll want to bolt. He likes the idea of staying in a relationship because it is his choice to be there and not because he has a document that says he has to be." Hmm, the logic to that almost works.