UGLY AMERICAN Gutfeld in full If Greg Gutfeld's plan to become the John McLaughlin of right-wing fratboys doesn't work out, he can always fall back on literature. The Huffington Post gadfly, former Maxim UK editor, and sometime Radar fashion columnist has signed a deal with Simon & Schuster U.K. to write a memoir about his move to London: "The book is about how Brits are happier than Yanks, and as a Yank I discover why," he says. "It begins with my arrival as a miserable and hungover asshole, and ends with me never wanting to leave the U.K. I am still a miserable and hungover asshole."
The working title, he says, is Lessons from the Land of Pork Scratchings. Gutfeld declines to discuss his advance, except to say, "I specifically asked that I be paid in pound coins. They are heavy and have neat pictures of the Queen, which is not Elton John, but should be."
Save those yuks for Roger Ailes, bub.
Photo Illustration: The Black Table (RIP)