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Worshipping at the Fountain of Al Pacino

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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SPITFACE Pacino

Al Pacino: Jamie Foxx has a message for big Al—say it, don't spray it. "When we did Any Given Sunday, I tasted him. Al would spit so much that I needed a squeegee. I tasted his DNA." Jamie's not knocking Al's slobbering ways, though. He says the effluvium "did me good—I won an Oscar."

Madonna: Everyone knows Madge got around during her Truth or Dare days, but a new bio of J.F.K., Jr., reveals that she had a thwarted tryst with the late Kennedy scion. One of John-John's best friends from Brown says in American Legacy that the relationship wasn't consummated because there was no rubber. Madonna "was still legally married to Sean Penn, and John had a steady girlfriend ... They were afraid of being busted. They couldn't very well just meander into a pharmacy and ask for a pack of Trojans.... To John's great chagrin, the relationship was never completed." If John were still alive, he'd probably be greatly chagrined that this biography also says he had bisexual flings.

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Jamie Lee Curtis: One small step backwards for Jamie Lee, one giant leap backwards for working mothers everywhere. She tells the bastion of feminism, Ladies' Home Journal, "I would take jobs wherever I had to take them and I would work all the time. You can talk about working for the greater good of the family and all of the spin you want to put on it, and yet I was just following my career at the expense of my daughter." It sounds like Jamie and Caitlin Flanagan would get along quite nicely. We'll add her to the list.

CariDee English: Last year's America's Next Top Model is one classy lady. She told Gatecrasher that she was conceived through the miraculous powers of booze. "My dad was on Jack Daniel's; my mom was on tequila. My mom threw up and my dad didn't give up ... nine months later, I popped out."

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