CBS, Viacom, Paramount, Dreamworks, etc. majority owner Sumner Redstone is never going to die, because he is apparently receiving the finest in futuristic life-enhancement treatments. (Probably each morning he sucks the delicious stem cells from a mansion's worth of babies.) This is a problem for his own children! Last year, his son Brent was paid a good deal of money to go away and stop causing trouble. But his daughter Shari has no such plans—even though today, her father is going on the T.V. to basically say she is fired, and that she won't end up on the boards of Viacom and CBS, and will walk away with a buyout. Hilariously enough, she disputes any such agreement. Sumner Redstone: The only father more difficult than Rupert Murdoch. Alley Insider rounds up the confusing and contradictory Redstone statements over the last year: she's terrible, she's wonderful, she's fired, etc. Guess we'll find out in 2028, when Sumner finally retires.