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Tamra Judge Breaks Down In 'Silent Pain' Over Estrangement From Teen Daughter

//tamra judge divorce estranged daughter sidney barney erasing family rhoc pp

Jul. 31 2017, Updated 5:55 p.m. ET

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Tamra Judge is still reeling in pain over her estrangement from Sidney Barney, RadarOnline.com has learned.

The RHOC star, 49, finally told all about their separation in a new clip for the show, and revealed that that Barney was not the only one she was alienated from in her life.

"I wasn't alienated, but when my parents got divorced, I chose sides," she said in the clip. "I chose my mom's side. I just kind of walked away from my dad. My dad was my hero."

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But unlike her relationship with Barney, 18, she was able to fix her relationship with her dad.

"My dad drove 10 hours to be here — and my mom didn't show up," Judge told fellow attendees at an event discussing alienation through tears. "It hurts my feelings that my mom didn't think it was important enough to show up."

Watch The Video On RadarOnline

Then, she gave a devastating speech at the event. She began by asking her father, her brother and son, Ryan, to stand up as they represented "three generations" of alienation. Then, she started to cry as she discussed her "silent pain."

"People tell you all the time, 'Don't worry. She'll be back. She'll figure it out,' " Judge said of her relationship with Sidney. "Every time someone tells me that I want to punch them in the throat and say, 'Don't worry. It won't hurt long.' And then I gotta punch them again."

"I do believe that my daughter will be back one day, just like I believe your children will all be back one day," she ended the speech. "Love your children more than you hate your ex. Kids deserve to have both parents in their life."

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"I divorced Ryan's dad, my mom and dad divorced," she explained in her confessional. "Divorce does horrible things to families. Every single day it hurts. And the only thing that I can do to get through it is to try to help other people so they don't have to feel the same pain."

Radar previously reported that Judge and Barney have been estranged since divorced Simon Barney in 2011. They briefly reconciled at the end of the season 11 reunion, and then again for the teen's high school graduation. But, Sidney still refuses to live with Judge.

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