“I started having severe panic and anxiety attacks in the middle of the night, which led me into a deep depression,” Lowell said. “I couldn’t stop crying. I felt I’d be better off dead. I needed help.”
Lowell finally got the help that she needed when her fiancé, who has battled depression, made an appointment for her to see a psychiatrist.
She was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and, along with taking medication to treat her illness, was advised to speak with a counselor.
It was there that Lowell, who gave up her first daughter Carly to adoption in 2009, learned that “abandonment” was at the core of her issues.
“It took me a long time to be OK with that,” she told the magazine.
Almost a year has gone by since Lowell first started treatment and she knows that she still has a long way to go.
“I’ve been taking my meds and talking to someone regularly, and it’s gotten easier. If I have to stay on antidepressants for the rest of my life, I am fine with that,” she said.
“I just want to be healthy for my child.”