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• Unfriendly fire: Long Island Lolita Amy Fisher shows little sympathy for her shooting/adultery victim, Mary Jo Buttafuoco. Fisher tells Chaunce Hayden in Steppin Out magazine that “the fact that Mary Jo has a bullet in her head means nothing! I still have silicone in my boobs, and you don’t hear me complaining. She can’t feel her bullet, and I can’t feel my silicone.”
• Wish you coulda been there: Visa-exiled chanteuse Amy Winehouse wins five Grammys Sunday night and delivers an impressive performance via satellite from London. In her acceptance speech, she thanks “my Blake incarcerated.” Herbie Hancock grabs the trophy for album of the year, and Barack Obama wins for best spoken word album.
• Strike out: The WGA and AMPTP hammered out a tentative agreement over the weekend. Writers were told to put down their picket signs on Sunday and TV show-runners return to work today. Fear remains that American couch potatoes everywhere have already been lost to YouPorn.
• Long and winding road: Paul McCartney and Heather Mills head to court for the first day of their bitter divorce proceedings. Mopey Mill’s payout could beat the current UK divorce haul record of £48 million.
• Fight on: By the end of the weekend, Team Obama secures wins in Maine, Louisiana, Nebraska, and Washington state. Desperate, Hillary Clinton drops campaign manager Patti Solis Doyle and replaces her with longtime aide Maggie Williams.
• Too soon? Too soon: A New York tour company adds Heath Ledger‘s Broome Street building to its tour.