• Spies’ revenge: Outed CIA agent Valerie Plame and some dude claiming to be her husband (for now) resurrect lawsuits against alleged press whisperers Vice President Dick Cheney, his former chief of staff, I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, former White House political adviser Karl Rove, and former Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage.
• Evil liberals: Fox News reports that members of Code Pink, an anti-war group, will use tactics like witchcraft to rally against the Iraq war. Meanwhile, Fox News continues to use tactis like Bill O’Reilly.
• Donnie Darko 2, the Explanation: Someone in Hollywood thought it would be good to earmark $10 million for a sequel to Donnie Darko that is not directed by Richard Kelly, stars not a single Gyllenhaal and probably has a nü metal soundtrack.
• It’s like that one Carly Simon song: Sex & the City star Kim Cattrall mouths off about actors who were insecure and whiny when it came to baring it all for the hit show. (She’s lookin’ at you, Noth!)
• Fighting terror on the newsstands: Representative Paul Broun (R-GA), who advocates the death penalty and castration to be available to those who rape victims under 16, is now pushing the Military Honor and Decency Act, which would ban service members staring down death daily from buying Playboy, Penthouse, and other man mags. (Still totally kosher, oddly: Beaver Hunt)