Boll Winning Cruddy Filmmakers’ Race to the Bottom

Uwe suck!: Horror auteur and amateur pugilist Uwe Boll (Bloodrayne, House of the Dead) responded yesterday to a petition asking him to get out of the movie-making business. (About 168,000 had signed at post time.) In the process, he called filmmaker Michael Bay a “fucking retard,” and slammed director Eli Roth. Today Bay says, “He is obviously a sad being.” Roth calls Boll’s remark, the “greatest compliment ever.”

Too bad there’s no GNR pun to use here: Axl Rose reportedly delivers his band’s fifth studio album, Chinese Democracy, to Geffen Records—after 14 years and $13 million.

Loves the ladies: Elton John plays NYC Wednesday night, raising $2.5 million for Hillary Clinton and saying, “I’m amazed by the misogynistic attitudes of some of the people in this country. And I say to hell with them … I love you Hillary, I’ll be there for you.” Right. Can we hear “Tiny Dancer” now?

Rhodes stands by “whores”: After her lady-on-lady rant, radio’s Randi Rhodes resigns from Air America rather rather than publicly apologize for calling Hillary and Geraldine Ferraro “fucking whores.” Elton John would not approve.

Also in whore news: The owner of Bret MichaelsRock of Love house is suing producers for $380,000 to cover damages that occurred during filming, including holes in walls, dead plants, and a stubborn film of silicone and skankiness.

Frisco shuffle: San Franciscans are in a tizzy when the Olympic torch’s route through the city is suddenly changed without notice, depriving thousands of the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (resisting … bad … joke …) to see a man carrying a flame jog down the street. (Whew!)

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