Star: Over-protective parents are nothing new, but the measures Sea Org-aspiring TomKat are taking to ensure golden child Suri‘s safety are. The babe makes only rare public appearances and then only with cannon-toting muscleheads all around her. Plus, Jessica Simpson: 27 pounds heavier!
Us: It didn’t take long for newly single Justin Timberlake to find a new “box” for his … well, you know, blond squeeze. Us reports the ongoing gossip that the gift-giving crooner is moving on to Scarlett Johansson, arch nemesis of his ex, Cameron Diaz. Plus, Justin’s other ex Britney Spears has a weird face. What gives?
Life & Style: The fate of Brit-tots Sean Preston and Jayden James lay in the balance as weird-faced Britney and FedEx duke it out over who has the right to blow pot smoke in their children’s faces. Of course, Kevin would gladly surrender that right for a large chunk of Brit’s change.
In Touch: There ain’t no cover story like an eatin’ disorder cover story! This time, we’re told to worry about adventure-jawed Keira Knightly, invisible-from-the-side Mary-Kate Olsen (again?!), and eternal bikini rocker Jessica Alba. Plus: “important” questions asked and answered about American Idol.