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To Do This Weekend: Smoke, Drink, Harass Big Cats

NICE KITTY Tony (Photo: Getty Images)

The San Francisco Zoo reopened its Big Cat Grotto Thursday, so consider your weekend plans set! Grab a handle of Popov vodka and some skunk weed and head to Frisco. Be sure to lubricate heavily with vodka shots before leaving for the zoo, then hot box your buddies in your old BMW on the way over. Tatiana may be dead and gone, but Tony the tiger and Kimani the lion are still alive and well (enough), and they’re ready to play! (Hint: they like it rough.) The SF Zoo has extended the moat walls around the grotto by four feet and added hot wires, so rest assured you’ll be able to kick up your heels, toss crap at those big kitties, and have no fear of being mauled.