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The Hills: We Could Do Better

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HAPPY JALADAYS! Pratt, Montag(Photo: Getty Images)

So it wasn’t really a “Very Special Thanksgiving Episode” of The Hills. But we sort of wish it was. Here, we present what might have happened on such an episode, should technological advances be made in time-travel and reality television.

What really happened on last night’s episode: Because he is actually the devil, wedding planning proved hard for Spence. Heidi dragged him to see some church, and he almost melted once inside God’s House. Then, the pastor had the nerve to mention pre-marital counseling. Spencer Pratt, however, is nobody’s bitch. Not even Christ’s. He tried to whisk Heidi away to Sin City, but the bride-to-be wouldn’t have it. Turns out, beneath the silicone and pancake makeup, Heidi’s just an old-fashioned girl who wants a church wedding. And so much forgiveness.

What would happen on a Very Special Thanksgiving episode: Heidi tries to cook her first turkey ever, but things go awry and she chars the bird instead. Spencer considers hitting her for a moment, but then starts laughing. They both start laughing! They go to Taco Bell for “fourth meal” Chalupas.

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