The Glorious U.S. Nation Declares Collectivist Victory!


Good day, comrades! It is another beautiful view from our cubicles here in the world’s largest socialist democracy. Today we can report we have won another glorious victory against the stupidity of the free market! (In Soviet America, the market frees you!) You and I, sister-brother market-owners, not only now hold the vast majority of all of America’s mortgages, but also, through our glorious brother-leaders Hank Paulson and Ben Bernanke purchase of AIG, we also own a massive insurance company, one that now sees the error of its ways for backing the rogue free private markets—and as well we now own a resort in Stowe, Vermont! (We will all timeshare AIG’s Stowe Mountain Resort. You will get to spend one hour there sometime in the next two decades.) We are winning!

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