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Tabs Move Units By Spears-Bashing

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MOMMY SPEAR-EST Britney

Britney Spears is a bad mom.

Just ask any over-weight Midwestern housewife who’s ever held up the supermarket line reading about it in the glossies while her own spawn chewed through plastic Oreo packaging and hurled itself out of the shopping cart’s child safety seat to the cold linoleum below. Stars, they’re just like us!

Things do appear to be looking grim for the Ms. Spears on the custody front as ex-hubby Kevin Federline subpoenas legions of Brit’s former employees to testify about her poor parenting practices and Life & Style, In Touch, and Us all manage to secure on-the-record quotes from the pop tart’s friends about her affront to motherhood.

With its screaming, Britney to her Kids: You Were Both Mistakes! headline, Star seems to have stumbled over some sort of ethical line. While it’s one thing for the weeklies to give gory details of Brit’s maternal missteps—letting the boys sit in soiled diapers, drinking in front of them—it seems somehow a bit much to say she wishes they were never born. After all, these are still kids who presumably (even saddled with their Louisiana roots) will someday learn to read.

And OK! is apparently still really pissed off at Brit for the doggie-doo-on-the-dress photo shoot. They claim that not only is Brit a bad baby momma and a slut, but that her new lover is … dun dun dun … a woman and she probably did the deed with Paris Hilton. They back this up with some topless hottub pics and quotes from “adult-movie-actress” Tera Patrick, who may have had a conversation with Jenna Jamison who may have may have talked to Brit at her restaurant opening. But if a porn star says it, it has to be true!

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