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Good Night, Suge Knight!

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REENACTMENT Knight’s rap nap

Death row: There’s really just no other way to say, Suge Knight got knocked the fuckout. TMZ has the video of the aftermath, the pics, and the interview with the 5’10”, 173-pound brass baller who laid out the 6’3″, 350-pound ex con rap mogul.

Tragic geography lesson: Death tolls approach 9,000 as 7.8 magnitude earthquake rocks Chongqing, China. Americans furiously Google the city to be able to spot it on a map.

Presidential metrics: “There are 50 ways to leave your lover, 13 ways of looking at a blackbird, and at least six ways to drop out of a presidential race,” says Ben Smith. Add “and three long-shot candidates to take note.”

Barr, scaring none: Get familiarized with Bob Barr‘s name in presidential talks. At least for a week—he’s announced is Libertarian Party candidacy.

Boobs: Funny thing about breasts: Some women want bigger ones while, huh, and this is strange, some women want smaller ones. Breasts! (And by breasts we mean chesticles here, people). Fascinating, these mammaries.