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Star Babies Sideline Hunt for Tony Romo

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MATERNITY REWARD Us Weekly cover

Apparently a full 97 percent of all celebrity ladies are pregnant, thinking of becoming pregnant, gave birth last week, or are engaged in some sort of ro-sham-bo battle over Cowboys QB Tony Romo.

Us and Star give all the amazingly boring details about the routine deliveries of Christina Aguilera‘s son and Nicole Richie‘s daughter—miracle of life happens for 11 billionth time! Also adding to the world’s overpopulation last week, Stella McCartney, Courtney Thorne-Smith, R&B singer Monica, Toni Collette, and David Alan Grier. Sadly, because of the Nicole/X-tina births, these deserving star spawn were only mentioned in an lifeless info box and did not get the full-spread attention they deserved.

Speaking of baby plans, after diligently trying to break up Brangelina for the better part of a year, the Bauer Bunch takes the line that Angie and Brad are rock solid and “trying” to have another bio-baby. We’re sorry, but we are never so creeped out as when friends tell us they are trying for a baby. Like, seriously, we spend a lot of time trying not to visualize our pals—pale, pasty lawyers, accountants, and graphic designer types—making the beast with two backs. And sure, Brad and Angie are perhaps more genetically blessed than, say, our sportswriter buddy who doesn’t actually do anything athletic, but still, eww. Sex becomes frighteningly unsexy when its ultimate goal is a screaming, pooping “blob” (to borrow Angie’s pet name for daughter Shiloh). But we digress.

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