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Lone Sober Irishman Bitches Today About Everyone Else

DRUNK WITH CULTURE Bono, sans makeup, glasses

Today’s celebration of all things Irish is apparently a cause for great aggravation among certain contrarians on the Emerald Isle. Writes one grumpy Dubliner in today’s Irish Independent, “St Patrick’s Day shames me. It’s the only day of the year where I wish I wasn’t Irish.” The problem, it seem, is that this observation of Ireland’s patron saint is used by many simply as an excuse to get plastered and put their dukes up. “The Irish seem keen to embody every national stereotype going. We become a nation of boorish, loutish drunks, prone to violence.” (Also, weren’t they responsible for House of Pain?) The Irish authorities have dramatically stepped up their police presence to ensure that “celebrations into the night do not descend into drink-fueled orgies of violence” as has happened in years past, but this is no consolation to the grumpy Irishman. “Some like to think that we’ve cleaned our act up in recent years. Don’t believe a word of it. The vomit on the streets will attest to that come tomorrow.” Slainte! [Irish Independent]