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Shore Up Your Dates in the Britney Rehab Watch

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TICK, TICK, TICK Spears

True Hollywood intervention: According to Britney Spears’s former BFF and assistant Felicia Culotta, it’s just a matter of time before Brit checks into rehab. Star magazine chimes in with a Britney Rehab Watch poll.

Hanger-on still hangin’: Bobby Trendy takes a little time off from his post-acid-fugue interior design duties to thank (we think) Anna Nicole for making him famous and for “supporting four people by baring her breasts and genitals for men and women.”

It’s not you, it’s me…: With this handy American Idol kit, now you too can arm yourself with the proper smarmy phrases needed to reject someone.

What, no rehab?: The NBA has promptly spanked Tim Hardaway’s behind for his recent homophobic rant, banning him from making any All-Star appearances. Plus, no more small-ass towels.

Stop your sobbing: MIA pop star and he-man Liam Gallagher has called Robbie Williams out for not sucking it up and for being a “drama queen.”

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