Schadenfreude Confirmed: Lehman Bros. Kills Severances

DANCING WHILE THE FAT CATS SQUIRM This is what goes on down on Wall Street this week (Photo: AFP/Getty Images )

The almost class-conscious American populace, currently riled into a state of either inertia or rage by the goings-on down at Wall Street, all agree on one thing: no “golden parachutes” for the greedy, blood-sucking financial types who … did something or other to make the money go bad. Sure, no one knows what happens or why they all got such bad mortgages or why minimum wage is ludicrous, but those fat cat brie-loving homosexuals in their fancy blue shirts up in New York City (9/11! Never forget!) must pay. So they’ll be happy to know that Lehman Brothers, the bankrupt financial institution, did indeed cancel its promised severance packages to the thousands of people it has laid off. No more Chablis for them! This is good for America’s morale because it means that other people are suffering. It’s sort of like how the death penalty brings people together.

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