When Scientology’s favorite blushing young mommy, Katie Holmes, ran the New York City marathon this past weekend, she joined a growing legacy of celebs who’ve donned numbered placards, posted up among the sweaty throngs, and embarked on a grueling 26.2-mile semi-trot. But with a time of 5 hours, 29 minutes, and 58 seconds, Holmes happened to be one of her pack’s slowest racers. How, though, have her famous counterparts fared in contests past? Is it notable that she smashed David Lee Roth‘s 1987 finish time, or that she lost out to a huffing but battle-ready Oprah, who bested her by over an hour one brisk Virginia day in 1999? We think so.
Of course, Katie couldn’t possibly have recruited a Team Xenu able to match Oprah’s hearty support system. Hell, Katie couldn’t rally any support, really: As the media so happily offered, girlfriend did the entire test braless. Without bra. Un-effing-strapped. But let’s try and forget that. Consider, if you can stand it, having Tom Cruise waiting for you at the finish line, his beady eyes beaming, eager to hose you down and lock you back up in a stately Beverly Hills compound. Would you be in any hurry to collapse into those well-toned, vice-like arms? Losing out to the Big O might seem like a small, insignificant price to pay for 5 hours of bare-nippled freedom.