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Prince William’s Overactive Joystick

IT’S GOOD TO BE PRINCE Wills (Photo: Getty Images)

Visiting South Wales earlier today, Prince William defended his use of RAF helicopters for a stag party and girlfriend-impressing shenanigans, but he also took a moment at a second stop to demonstrate his Nintendo Wii skills. “I’ve been accused of wasting money—joyriding,” the prince told an 82-year-old man defensively at his first stop. “I’m working on my license. I’m trying to do as much flying as I can.” And don’t forget partying—you’re trying to do as much partying as possible, too, Will.

On an official visit to the Valleys Kids Project in the Rhondda Valley, HRH was challenged to a game of Wii Tennis by a young local boy, and William gallantly accepted: “I never thought I would be playing Wii on an official engagement,” he told reporters, eager to take up his joystick into his supple royal palm. He walked away victorious, of course (you know how much fucking tennis this dude plays?) Lucky you, Kate Middleton: everyone knows what they say about a guy who’s good with a Wii controller and helicopter joysticks … they’re really good at taking Jager shots and blowing through British taxpayers’ money.