• Power coupling: A village clerk in Scarsdale, New York, says a marriage license for Beyoncé Knowles and Jay-Z, dated April 4 and signed by the person who officiated at the wedding, is filed with the state. Oh, God, love is real!
• Final push: Squeaking in just before polls close in Pennsylvania, Hillary Clinton says if her presidential campaign winds up succeeding, she won’t be afraid to “obliterate” Iran.
• Gossip, girl!: Us Weekly gets to the bottom of the Gossip Girl character about to step out of the closet. Next week, they uncover corruption deep inside the Bush Administration. Naw! They’re totally gonna be on the red carpet again!
• Rape-tinis on ice: According to a sheriff’s report, someone dropped GHB into former Olympic ice dancer Pasha Grishuk‘s drinks as she attended a business meeting at an L.A. hotel earlier this month. Neither she nor authorities can figure out the motive, other than the fact that she’s an ice dancer.
• Slippery when wrecked (reprise): Guitarist Richie Sambora now knows that pulling the Bon Jovi card won’t keep cops from slapping you with a DUI. But it might ward off those pesky child endangerment charges.
• <a href="http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D907322O0&show_article=1
” target=”_blank”>WMDs found!: 18-year-old Ryan Schallenberger is facing a federal charge of plotting to use a weapon of mass destruction at his school in Chesterfield, South Carolina. What happened to well-placed stink bomb?