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Navy to Alter Swastika Barracks

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THE REICH CALL Navy building
Heir-ial view: The U.S. Navy agrees to spend $600,000 to alter a San Diego-area barracks so it doesn’t look like a swastika on Google Earth. “You have to realize, back in the ’60s we did not have the Internet,” explains a spokesperson—though the Navy knew about the shape as early as 1967 but did nothing because the building was in a no-fly zone.

Sky-high Dubai: “The Disneyland of capitalism” is now officially home to the world’s tallest building, effectively knocking those smug Canadians and Toronto’s CN Tower off their mounted police horse.

Go for the View: A Middle East terrorist group has reportedly invited Rosie O’Donnell to live among them, effectively demanding she put her money where her mouth is following her former comments on The View that we should not “fear the terrorists.”

Hoff’s back on top!: First Ryan Seacrest announces a David Hasselhoff vehicle; now NBC has opted to launch an updated version of Knight Rider this fall.

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