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Meet the Also-Rans: Randy “Jesus” Crow

J.C. II Crow

Radar asks: Why should the race for our country’s highest office be dominated by stage-managed mainstream candidates? Get to know the underdogs in the ’08 presidential race—genuine mavericks without massive campaign coffers, high-paid strategists, or insurance plans that cover mental health.

Do you think Paul Wolfowitz is a “homosexual psychopath” who orchestrated the D.C. sniper attacks in 2002 to secure congressional support for the war in Iraq? Are you a Democrat who’s frustrated that the mainstream presidential candidates refuse to talk about how Karl Rove is a gay “communi$t” who framed Scott Peterson for the murder of his wife Lacy as part of a convoluted strategy to energize the Republican base for the 2004 election?

Finally, there’s a candidate for you! Thanks to some Beautiful Mind-level experiences, Democrat Randy Crow has been endowed with an important skill that distinguishes him from the other hopeless Internet-based political campaigners: “One of my best talents is figuring out deception and conspiracies.”

In addition to the Wolfowitz and Rove revelations, Crow exposes earth-shattering truths about some other well-known figures (in spite of years of being harassed by the FBI). These truths become evident after the jump …