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Meet the Also-Rans: Don Cordell

KILL ‘EM ALL Cordell

Radar asks: Why should the race for our country’s highest office be dominated by stage-managed mainstream candidates? Get to know the underdogs in the ’08 presidential race–genuine mavericks without massive campaign coffers, high-paid strategists, or insurance plans that cover mental health.

Unlike the other suckers running for president, 80-year-old Don Cordell isn’t going to bore you with tortured, mealy mouthed talking points about how to solve our problems in Iraq. Why should he, when the solution is so obvious?

“To win, you just totally eliminate everyone in that country, and I do mean everyone,” says the retired electrician.

Cordell’s proposal to kill all Muslims in Iraq and elsewhere stems directly from his “Don’t Screw with the United States” foreign policy and his desire to “remember the innocent people on 9/11.” He hates cops, is seriously pissed at his deadbeat son-in-law, and responds to skeptics of his murderous plans thusly: “We are told ‘You can’t kill ALL of them.’ Sure we can, and we’d better do it.”