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Market Rally! Exuberance Totally Rational!

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ALMOST AS GOOD AS CANADIAN MONEY! Greenback

Oh my God, gas prices are down well under $4 a gallon—actually down under $3.80 in some locations—and AS WELL the dollar is a little bit up against the pound. The pound is only like, $1.90 now! It’s a five-and-a-half month high! (What’s more, the stupid Canadian dollar is only like a little over a dollar now.) Oh boy, I am going to get in my car and drive until I can find some English people to mock and then I will BUY THEIR FUCKING CHILDREN with my gorgeous American dollars and teach them what meat is supposed to look like, i.e., not gray and snotty like last month’s glue spill.