Maroon 5′s Levine Serves Sharapova

Known as the loudest lady on clay, grass, and hardcourt, Russian tennis phenom Maria Sharapova is surprisingly quiet in between the sheets. At least according to squeaky-voiced slimeball Adam Levine.

The Maroon 5 lead singer and Sharapova’s ex explained the couple’s split by pointing to her lack of grunts in the bedroom. “I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she’d be the loud screaming type,” Levine reportedly said, according to Russian ex-pat prankster magazine eXile.

“It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards,” Levine continues, seemingly unaware of Sharapova’s ability to smash balls at over 100 mph.

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