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“Baby, You Know Better Than To Mess With Mama’s Smokes”

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They say that those who cannot remember Monday are doomed to repeat it, so let’s take a look back at what the world did to us this week: Confusion reigned. Finger-wagging revulsion over pictures of Britney Spears smoking resulted in a backlash of its own. Bob Novak was so upset by the whole thing that he tried to kill someone with his car.

Madonna was rumored to be feeling stressed, a not uncommon condition: even Julia Allison succumbed to ennui. (Probably also in a bad mood: Sarah Jessica Parker. And any celebrity without an eponymous handbag.)

Some had reason to celebrate: Screech from Saved by the Bell got a book deal, although the excerpt we saw seemed a bit dark. Oh, yeah, some other stuff happened, but we don’t want to talk about it. And to top it all off, we suffered a great loss.

Thank God we had the bears to pull us through.

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