Leona’s Last Stand


Tax-evading, homosexual-firing misanthrope Leona Helmsley has one more doozy from beyond the grave. Everyone laughed when she left $12-million to her dog. But the joke was on us! She left instructions for the rest of her cash—at least $5 billion—to also go to the dogs.

The two people who described the statement said Mrs. Helmsley signed it in 2003 to establish goals for the multibillion-dollar trust that would disburse assets after her death.

The first goal was to help indigent people, the second to provide for the care and welfare of dogs. A year later, they said, she deleted the first goal.

Jokes on you, stupid poor people! But seriously: Why doesn’t anyone leave any money for the feral cats that infest this city? Why is it always the stupid dogs?

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