Battle Of The Bulge-less

BRUNETTE AMBITION Holmes, Beckham (Photo: Getty Images)

It’s always a close race between the brunette fembots. In one lane, you have a plasticine former pop star and wife of a squeaky-voiced former soccer star. In the other lane, a former teen star turned celebutard incarnation of the Feminine Mystique and mother of the Scientology Messiah-tot. We are, of course, speaking of Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes.

Sure Mrs. Beckham recently got her own lego, but that’s no match for a Broadway debut with Scientology protesters. Since hitting the boards in Arthur Miller’s All My Sons, Katie Holmes has surged in online popularity. Your move, Victoria, your move, but, might we suggest you consider producing and starring in a Broadway extravaganza of your very own; we’re thinking Mamma Mia meets the Spice Girls reunion tour with a dash of Equus for artistic merit. In the meantime, to the Fame-O-Meter.

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