Kathleen Willey's Advice for Obama

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

Kathleen Willey, a former White House volunteer who was reportedly fondled by Bill Clinton and has never recovered, thinks Barack Obama should be scared. Very, very scared. Because, you see, Kathleen just knows that the Clintons' goons were the ones who killed her kitty cat—oh, and they've also threatened her children and their friends and have broken into her house and stolen her manuscript and basically made her life a living hell until she bought that tin foilhat. Her suggestion to Obama is to rob "them" of their power by coming forward and telling the American public about every single shady or illegal thing he's ever done and to shred everything—but that's just because his life and sanity are more important than actually winning the race. Kathleen, understand, isn't a partisan Republican hack or anything. She's a giver. And probably mentally ill.

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