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Glossies: You’re Fat, You’re Lonely, It’s Summer, Who Cares?

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The dog days of summer have set in. Celebrities are hiding in their air-conditioned abodes. Magazine staffers keep taking Fridays off to attend bitchy friends’ weddings. The result is that the weekly warriors have morphed into the monthly women’s mags, chock full of stories about getting the fat off your ass and men in your bed. Grrr, we get enough of that from our moms and Cosmo.

Giving in completely, OK! acknowledges that if you’re reading their rag, chances are you probably haven’t gotten laid in really long time. Handy helpers that they are, the staff offers up the Find a Man Map, thumb-tacking the best states to nab a single guy. If you go to Minnesota you might meet someone like “hometown hunk” Josh Hartnett—who fled the snow belt years ago because, well, it’s fucking Minnesota.

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