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Old Man Gets New Guide Dog

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NEW BLOOD! McCain

Shake-up: Presidential candidate John McCain has put a new man in charge of his campaign. Political adviser Steve Schmidt, who managed Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s reelection for California governor, will now steer the McCain ship.

Swing Lo: Michael Lohan is reportedly shopping his paternity test story around to the tabs, without much success.

Hate the player: Vogue intern and hockey thug Sean Avery will be moving from his beloved New York to comparatively unfashiony Texas. He’s signed on for four years with the Dallas Stars, at about $4m per, which should buy plenty of designer cashmere socks for his jacking off needs.

SURE, THERE’S MORE: Limbaugh booty; more bears; sucky movies!

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