John McCain Kills at GOP Debate

POW!: At last night’s Republican debate, John McCain flossed his prisoner-of-war cred while blasting Hillary Clinton for trying to spend $1 million on a Woodstock concert museum—and earned himself a standing O.

Spoils of war: Frank Rich says $9 billion has been stolen from Iraq, and soldiers are killing themselves over corruption.

Stars take the heat: Devastating fires tear through Malibu threatening the homes of several resident celebs including Britney Spears, James Cameron, Olivia Newton-John, Mel Gibson, Tanya Tucker, Jennifer Aniston, Tom Hanks, Courteney Cox, Kurt Russell, Sting, Goldie Hawn, Ted Danson, David Geffen, Barbra Streisand, and Pierce Brosnan. Not to mention the 25+ rehab centers.

Hairy plotter and the sorcerer’s bone: Albus Dumbledore is gay, says author J.K. Rowling. The Headmaster of Hogwarts in the Harry Potter series is outed innocently though … no scandals involving young wizards’ wands.

Flapjacked!: Kid Rock is arrested and jailed for 12 hours after a Waffle House brawl in Atlanta. The altercation likely involved an exchange of “Bawitdaba” lyrics.

In a tights spot: Be a part of the taping for American Gladiators redux, hosted by Hulk Hogan.

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