John McCain Looking To Minimize Awkward Interactions With Supporters On Election Night

From the wires: "John McCain's election night watch party might be missing John McCain. Instead of appearing before a throng of supporters at the Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix on the evening of Nov. 4, the Republican presidential nominee plans to deliver postelection remarks to a small group of reporters and guests on the hotel's lawn."

Not being much for religion, we don't usually find ourselves beseeching a deity who probably does not exist to grant the fulfillment of our desires, but if there is a God, and he could somehow see His way to having John McCain end his presidential campaign by literally yelling "Get off my lawn!" we promise to worship at whatever altar He so designates for the rest of our days. Amen.