Jamie Lynn Spears proves fertile ground for the tabs this week. The unwed 17-year-old gave birth to seven-pound, eleven-ounce Maddie Briann in McComb, Mississippi, on June 19, and who, depending on which weekly you read, is named after Ludwig Bemelman’s Madeline books, JL’s brother Bryan, or boyfriend Casey Aldridge‘s dead cousin. But no matter which glossy you glance, it’s clear the event was the typical Spears family spectacle!
OK! (who according to Us has a $3 million deal with Jamie Lynn) gets the money quote from the baby mamma herself: “More than anything I just want this baby to have a normal life.” Um, a decoy was needed to trick paparazzi when the new fam left the hospital and half the city’s cops were needed for security during the labor—best of luck with that normal life thing.