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THIS DOESN’T FEEL CATHARTIC Clinton, Obama (Photo: Getty Images)

A purely symbolic gesture: Barack Obama has approved Hillary Clinton‘s dubious campaign to put herself up for nomination at the upcoming Democratic National Convention. We have to ask: Is it because she’s a woman or just power-hungry?

Not a mother-abuser, after all: The UK’s Crown Prosecution Service won’t be charging Christian Bale over complaints of assault at a British hotel. But, hey, he’s not looking to be knighted or anything.

Wish you were Communist now?: China is in the lead for this year’s Olympic gold medals, winning 22 to the United States’ paltry 10. Now please take us off the banned websites list?

Newspapers run out of people to lay off: Gannett, owner of USA Today, is cutting 1,000 jobs; McClatchy is freezing wages; the Austin American-Statesman is up for sale; and the Tribune Company has liquidated 29 percent of its assets. That Jefferson quote about the security of a free press is starting to look really quaint.

Not another corporate holiday: Get ready, ABC has declared September 21 the start of National Stay at Home Week! It’s also when new shows start, but this is totally about saving the environment.

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