OFF SCRIPT Montag (Photo: Getty Images)

Last month, Hills robot Lauren Conrad got fans of the faux-reality show totally excited when she discussed the possibility of a doing a Hills movie. “I think if they were going to do a film of The Hills they would basically film it like we do the show and they would just edit it into a movie. It would be like a really long episode,” she said. A brilliant concept, to be sure, save for one small problem: arch-nemesis Heidi Montag wants nothing to do it with it.

Not because she doesn’t have cinematic aspirations, mind you, but because, in her opinion, the actors on The Hills just aren’t good enough.