Porn star + wooden leg + liar = Pornocchio, aka Heather Mills, according to the British press. Pretty good, right? Ordinarily the sobriquet would be considered insensitive given her disability, but when reports come through that, on the heels of a $50 million windfall following her divorce from Sir Paul McCartney, she’s shoving their daughter, Beatrice, in coach while she rides first class, it seems there’s a fair-use rule to apply. Don’t get me wrong, I mean, who wants babies in first class anyway, right? But considering she’d applied the exact same downgrading metaphor in her plea for more of McCartney’s cash, it’s particularly nauseating: Said Mills then: “Beatrice only gets £35,000 a year, so obviously she’s meant to travel B class while her father travels A class. But obviously I will pay for that.” Obviously, and obviously, Pornocchio.