• Special Special Comment: Keith Olbermann gets on his uniquely April fresh soapbox over racist-tinged comments about Barack Obama made by former congresswoman and now-resigned Hillary Clinton campaign finance committee member Geraldine Ferraro. Keith quotes Shakespeare multiple times then accuses Clinton of running like a (gasp!) Republican.

• Stripped away: Gay club peeler and Ricky Martin lookalike David Hernandez was sent packing on American Idol Wednesday night after his performance of “I Saw Her Standing There” failed to impress.

• Heroic measures: Activision, the maker of Guitar Hero, is suing Gibson Guitar for alleging that the popular video game infringes on a Gibson patent.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE: It wasn’t Mary Ann’s dope, Springsteen made her do it, and syphilis! (So much syphilis)