Has Bush Cut and Run from Mars?


With George W. Bush preparing for his State of the Union address tonight, we can all only hope it stacks up with his famously strange 2004 address, when the president kicked off an election year by identifying steroids in professional sports and a lack of livable colonies on Mars as the greatest problems facing the American people.

Plenty of pundits questioned Bush’s timing, but the results speak for themselves, with the president winning reelection by playing to America’s core concerns: home runs and green guys. But while Bush kept his word to be tough on ‘roids, his dream of liberating the red planet from the grip of Vilos Cohaagen seems to have hit a dead end, to the point where one wonders if the speech was nothing more than a political ploy by Karl Rove designed to convince naturalized Martians to vote Republican.

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