AXIS: BOLD AS LOVE Bush, Jong-il

• Demoted: Once North Korea submits a verifiable list of its nuclear programs to China, President Bush says he will in turn lift trade sanctions against the country and remove it from U.S. terrorism blacklist. Also, he and NK dictator Kim Jong-il are now planning a movie-and-Hennessy night.

• Get shorty: The man who brought the world Paris Hilton‘s sex tape is said to be selling a video of Verne Troyer, best known as Austin Powers‘ Mini-Me, porning off with his girlfriend. See the briefest of clips here, tongue included.

• High notes: Twenty-five of Tony Soprano’s outfits were auctioned off at Christie’s Wednesday. James Gandolfini‘s character’s garb fetched $187,750, to be donated to a charity for wounded soldiers.

YESSIR, THERE’S MORE: Inside the mind of MoDo; sexist iPhone?; Obama disses ScarJo; and gene mapping chocolate!