McCain Plots Headlock For Iran PM

Foul Mahmoud: John McCain says Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad should be “physically restrained if necessary” from visiting ground zero in Manhattan. Grab your pitchforks and torches, y’all!

From the Takes-One-to-Know-One Files: On the eve of a sure-to-be blistering Sex Pistols 30th anniversary gig in London, Johnny “Rotten” Lydon takes a bitch-tastic moment to brand Sting—that’s “Stink” to him—a “dead carcass.”

Soft drive: A new report says one in three Americans would give up sex before the Web. (Duh, there’s sex on the Web.)

Careless whispers: Despite the fact that a third of the people out there spreading HIV don’t know they have it, Wham! has-been George Michael goes on record saying the 15-minute test is too much for him to handle. The BBC promptly pulls the ignorant interview.

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