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Kooky Astronaut Story To Remain In Orbit

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CRASH LANDING Nowak

Astronut: Space cadet Lisa Nowak was released on $10,000 bond after being charged with attempted first-degree murder, which seems an entirely insufficient amount for someone who drove 900 miles in diapers to apprehend a purported romantic rival with pepper spray and a BB gun.

He makes a strong case: O.J. Simpson, on the uproar surrounding his unpublished killing screed, If I Did It…: “I don’t care,” Simpson told the Palm Beach Post. “I got paid just the same.”

Slackers: Obama and Clinton may skip some of the initial presidential debates, partly because there’s no upside, but mostly because no one wants to trek to places like Carson City.