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You Should Learn How To Say Toe

Some mornings you rise up so alive to the promise of the brand new day that it is all you can do to keep yourself from running to the computer to see what kind of wonder and joy the Internet has dropped on your inbox in hopes that you might share it with the wider world. And then some mornings you’re rewarded with a video of Courtney Love riding around L.A. in a shopping cart because she broke her toe. But you know what, Internet? You’re not going to get me down. I know that soon enough you’re going to give me a video of a dog relieving itself against a mighty oak, or someone famous farting on The View. Today’s going to be special; I can just feel it.

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